I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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