You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
