I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
