Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
do herpes really smell.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
