I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
