Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
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I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
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I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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