that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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