Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
