Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
