Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
