arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
