Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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