the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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