I wannas sexs uuuuu
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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