I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
