Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
