Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
