It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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