This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
