escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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