I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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