READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
