You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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