how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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