I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
