Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
