I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think I died a long time ago.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
