Dual....:-)
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
