so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
