Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
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