Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
