I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I want her autograph on my taint
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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