i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
