I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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