Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
