Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize