Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
