Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
