I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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