he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
