Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
These tits shall not be calmed
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
