The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
