I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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