batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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