What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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