i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
