so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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