my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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