if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
