i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Randomize
