It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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