if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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