She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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