you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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