remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize