Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
