I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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