As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
